hi this is my personal site/journal. excuse the shittiness because this is really just for me to journal and vent and have shrines for my interests. actually how did you even find this
30 october 2021
i made it through two meals then went insane trying to take a nap because i dont have a fan on the floor and its making me want to [REDACTED]. i made a shit ton of progress in pisstopia though (pisstopia is my anarcho-communist minecraft world). getting increasingly unsettled about the prospect of talking to geraldine again because she seriously has no idea how trans mental health works and i should probably ask my dad to let me see the other lady (amanda?) soon but im a lazy piece of shit so yeah LOL. oh yeah and idk how im supposed to 'neogtiate' my name anymore so if i dont make any progress before school starts ill just [REDACTED] its fine lol.
other than the usual gay ass timkon stuff i've been watching a bunch of hermitcraft/last life stuff.... theres something very nice about watching grown ass men just play video games and shit but not in a dsmp way. in a 'actually playing minecraft and not roleplaying like nine year olds' way...... im also getting back into overly sarcastic productions and their history/myth vids, i stopped watching awhile ago because i'd watched everything LOL but now there's a backlog so *cracks knucles*
SOTD: Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears
some good ol 80s shit cause thats the kind of stuff im into now apparently.
2 november 2021
i slept normally for once but obviously i must always be stupid so i forgt about my therapy session for the second time in a row. honestly i dont blame my dad for thinking i do this on purpose because even I am wondering if im subconsciously doing this shit. i probably got confused and thought i had nothing today because i saw geraldine yesterday oops. and ive been forgetting to do entriesso what happened yesterday is that i went to see geraldine, complained about my parents, then my phone ran out of battery and i saw the psychiatrist and he gave me stronger sleeping meds so hopefully those work!! i'm getting increasingly anxious about going back to school rn because it seems like the principal is super transphobic and my parents probably dont think its important enough to complain about it so *shrug* my dad said he'll ask if i can be at the meeting w the school but in the case that im not i realllly dont trust him to argue/debate on behalf on me considering he doesn't even understand the iumportant of what he's asking for. my mum still seems to not understand the importance of negotiating with the school because she called me wearing the male uniform 'too big of a concession' and even said that i should just wear a skirt ????? and whenever i pring up valid points she says im 'too aggressive' and then makes fun of me like... if you were getting pay cuts for being a woman you'd be banging tables and being aggressive too knn. im tired of waiting for people to 'educate' themselves. my parents are Not the one who is struggling the most here like i dont like saying im the victim but i am literally the one who is trans and got pulled out of school because i couldnt handle the teachers being transphobic on top of mental health issues... it IS a serious situation and i dont think they understand that if the school completely rejects my requests i will KILL MYSELF!!!! if they geta pass for 'trying their best' why is it not afforded to me?
also i got teen tians 2003 book 1 yesterday yayyy. kon my beloved
SOTD: idk i didnt listen to music today i just played minecraft and then wrote this junk lol